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4naruto-girl

Just shush, and do art.
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For anyone who reads this, thank you.

Aside from that, my confessions is that I had isolated myself from many things, people and even social media people, to which is why, barely now I am checking my dA account.

I had doubts in myself, and had anxiety of not being sure in what to do in my life. Well, actually I do have an idea, it is art. I want to create my own manga/ comic/ graphic novel, however anybody interpreted. I like telling stories, I want to tell stories, even though I have family members who doubt me, I want to do it.

I had struggled with no support, in which had cause my depression and anxiety, I actually thought there was something wrong with me, but it turns out, it is the stress that I'm receiving from other people. The mind is a dangerous thing.

I had gotten accepted to an art college, a private art college, but I didn't attend because of my mother's doubts in affording it, so currently I'm attending community college.
I'm going to re apply to the school, but not yet. Recently I had lost two family members this year. My biological father and my maternal grandmother who had raised me. And with the loss I have been taking care of my family at home in an emotional way if that makes sense.

But even with the loss I don't want to live to please others. I had been doing that in high school and I am sick and tired of it. I need to focus on me, on my passion, my art. Art is not a hobby for me, it is a part of me, it is my passion, and I am not giving it up ever. No matter how much I suffer.

 I got a goal and an idea on what to do, and I'm doing it one step at a time, it's hard to explain, but I am exited to do this.
I need time to reorganize things here and in real life.

I want to continue my fan art here, but I also want to start my own individual creation as well.  I just don't know where to start.
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I just had to change the journal entry, the last one was to depressing.the tired Irken emoticon  But I'm in a better mood at the moment being, so...Yay!Emoticon :goofing: 
All I can say that I gotten more into k-pop recently lol News of the month :XD: Since my b-day on Monday, stuff have been getting better :) no big party or anything just simple things making happy. I just need to keep this positive attitude going in order to reach my goal in affording for the college I want to go to.:aww:
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These past weeks(or months I should say) I've been on emotional roller coaster. Some days I'm in a good mood where I'm actually cheery and wanting to go outside, but some days, I just feel like total crap and feel like a total loner. And lately it has been more of the crappy days.Really Sad 

I haven't really been felt supported by my mother, about my art or about anything that is me! And when I do try to talk about my feelings to her, she shuns me out and ignores the fact that I feel like sh-t. ITS IRRITATING!:bademoticon: And at times, I feel alone. As if nobody is willing to hear me out, and it makes me feel like an outcast in my house. :alone: 

I'm not really giving up. I want closure between me and my mother. Even though we both have our faults, and don't have the same views in life, I don't want things in the future be like how it is going to be now. It's just difficult when you feel alone.Abandonement 

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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!:excited:  This actually happen yesterday in which the Laguna college of Art and Design called me and said that I was accepted!WOO I literally was stressing out these past months of not knowing where I wanted to go, until my current art teacher recommended me the school-WAAHH!! I really don't know what else to say, I just so happy!!Can we go NAO 
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Wah!! FINALLY!! I have finally sent my application to the art college that I want to go to!-WAH!!:faint: I can finally relax...well, there's still school. lol Now I can finally draw as I used to. I don't really have much to say cause I brain dead at the moment.:XD:
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